"Back by Noon, Honey! (Just Kidding)" - The Long Run Time Warp
On Sunday morning, birds sing. You tie your shoes, and a sense of adventure fills you. You tell your partner, "I will be back by noon." The words hang in the air with both hope and a lack of realism. Your partner nods and shows a knowing smile; they have heard this message before. They understand.
The problem is that Sunday morning long runs exist in their own time. Time extends, bends along with sometimes folds in. A fast jog can quickly become a hard walk, a slow stroll, or even a short stop to look at a tree. The miles increase, and they mock your noon deadline with each extra ridge you choose to explore quickly.
Other events can occur. A fast talk with a runner you meet somehow becomes a deep discussion about trail mix versus gels. A short detour to look at a scenic spot naturally involves a steep and unexpectedly long climb. An easy downhill section causes your legs to hurt, making you hobble. This is not running or walking, but a mix of both. Each unplanned event adds minutes, and sometimes hours, to your hopeful estimate.
At home, your partner looks at the clock. A quiet question of "where are you?" exists within their patient manner - they might send a text, a soft reminder that the roast chicken waits. You reply, "Almost back!" and the words hold a hint of desperation. You know this is not true, or at least a highly flexible truth. "Almost back" could mean another hour. It is best not to make firm meal time promises.
So, the time change of the long run continues its work. The promise of being back by noon fades, a funny reminder that on the trail, time acts in odd ways. The return home always feels like an adventure. But you did get some fresh air.
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